I Don't Blame
by elfmaiden4legs
Summary: ****Before Amber's death in the finale of S4, she and Wilson share their final moments together, and Amber shares some final words with Wilson about House, anger, blame, and their 10 year friendship!


**I Don't Blame**

"Where's House?" Amber asked, "He was on the bus with me… is he alright?"

"House…sustained a skull fracture." Wilson explained. "Longitudinal fracture to the temporal bone…"

"He didn't come to see me." Amber frowned at Wilson's expression as he spoke – the man she loved above all other… the man she would have married. "The others… they all came to see me…but House… why didn't he come to say goodbye?"

"Because, he can't." Wilson shook his head. Noticing Amber's expression change from one of gentle – final – acceptance into one of fear and alarm, and considering having to explain the situation to her, he finally decided that she had a right to know. More than anybody else, and more than any compassionate desire which he had to protect her, she of all people had a right to know.

"House…knew there was something more wrong with you… he saw you take the pills on the bus… but, he couldn't remember enough about the accident to figure it out for himself." Wilson explained. "I… I asked him to try deep brain stimulation… He'd suggested it… but he… he suffered a complex partial seizure during the procedure, widening the fracture in his skull and causing his brain to bleed…he's in a coma!"

"Don't blame him Jimmy..." Amber smiled, squeezing Wilson's hand affectionately with a reassuring tightness. "It's not his fault… I… I made the decision to take the pills."

"Yes…but he called you…"

"He called you." Amber corrected.

"Yes…but if he hadn't you wouldn't have gone out to collect him… you wouldn't have been on the bus." Wilson faltered, stroking Amber's soft blonde hair lovingly, trying to hold onto the moment, and as much of the woman he loved for as long as was possible.

"But House still might have been…" Amber remarked meekly, nestling her head deeper into Wilson's shoulder – her lover's tears soaked her pillow as he kissed her delicately on the corner of her dry and cracked lips.

"You really liked him didn't you?" Wilson asked.

"I admired him… as a doctor." Amber admitted weakly. "But you…you're his friend… you have something remarkable…" She explained softly. "He trusts you… he's let you in."

Wilson sighed at this, but remained silent.

"He's you're best friend… he needs you…more than I ever did." She smiled.

"And I need you!" Wilson sobbed.

"No…"Amber shook her head."You don't…" She whispered. "You'll find a way to get through this." She smiled, before adding, "I don't blame him James."

Wilson didn't respond.

"I love you." She smiled.

"I love you to." He replied.

"I'm tired…" She sighed, and Wilson nodded. "I think it's time to go to sleep." She explained, and Wilson's expression suddenly contracted into one of intense pain and repressed grief.

"Just a little longer." He cried.

"We're always going to want a little longer." She explained.

"I don't think I can do it…" He choked, and she watched as the tears began to flow hard and fast from her lover's dark brown eyes, soaking his beautiful face…

"It's ok." She reassured him gently.

"It's not ok… why is it ok with you?" Wilson sniffed. "Why aren't you angry?"

"That's not… the last feeling… I want to experience." She explained, her tone a whisper – as much from her own pain and weakness as for her love of the man now laying before her – and as the two's eyes met they gazed affectionately and deeply back at each other for several long seconds… seconds which felt like minutes, but which could just as easily have been hours... and yet this was still not long enough as they savoured their final moment together.

Finally Wilson smiled, cupping Amber's face delicately within the gentle palms of his hands, and planting a loving and passionate kiss upon her lips; a kiss which she returned as much as she could… the last kiss they'd share… before reaching over and turning off her life support…

The last thing she saw was the sight of the man she loved smiling back at her, before peacefully fading away… and Wilson finally allowed the tears to flow heavy and fast, unrepressed, as he realised the woman he loved – a woman he'd never stop loving – had left him forever.


End file.
